Monday, 12 March 2018

epic fail starhub

so my cable company sent me a happy women's day coupon.....
ignore the very bad attempt at covering my name on this thing but seriously, to celebrate women's month, I get to feel like I need to achieve my ideal figure and get greater body confidence...

Saturday, 24 February 2018

recuperating needs nourishment

While son no 1 was in hospital, he had to rely on eating what the hospital fed him..

Eggs and muffin for breakfast.. 
roast beef..... dried tasteless.. I tried it..
I figured that there must be some nutritionist somewhere deep in the bowels of the hospital that worked with the kitchens to prepare something resembling good decent nourishing food for the patients.

beef stew.. 

Unfortunately it wasn't so.
The nurses and staff at the hospital were wonderful, the care he received was brilliant but . the food, oh my the food

turkey meatloaf - not too bad pity about
the frozen veg
We feed our souls, we feed our bodies the right nourishment to get better.  I have always believed in that, the food we put into our bodies has to be fresh and cooked well.  I could not fathom the chefs on TV extolling the benefits of buy fresh and cook fresh, I thought that was what people already did, why was it such a 'new' thing to do, we had been doing it for ages.   then I came to North America and saw how people ate here.  Its scary.

Whats worse is that they feed that food to patients trying to get better in hospital.  It doesn't make people feel better.  One look at the food only made one feel worse.. much worse.

hard boiled egg... with shell.. how does a patient who has had surgery 
and cant use an arm, crack open that egg..

winter wonderland

So i got my first taste of what its like living in wintery conditions..

If adequately dressed its fine but when you have boots that arent made for icy roads it can be hazardous.. slippery and scary as I found out..

While son lay in a hospital in Vancouver post op, his wife and I were in a hotel close by and we would visit with him each day, getting to him early in the morning and going back to the hotel after 9pm.  and its been cold, -5 cold with snow flurries.. its really no fun walking in that kind of weather.

its not easy for me breathing in the cold air, its like the air supply suddenly slows down and you have to take deep gulping breaths just to get a smidgen of oxygen into the lungs.
on Vancouver Island.

but the snow is pretty, it makes everything look so calm and peaceful and when its falling its just magical. 
I know it disrupts everything, roads get wet and icy and its hard to walk on the snow without falling over and getting hurt for some but its just simply beautiful, for someone like me who lives in 30 degree weather all year round, winter has been quite simply beautiful.

Thursday, 8 February 2018


I arrived in Canada last night, tired, jetlagged but happy to be with son no 1 and my daughter in law.
why do i have to call her daughter in law.. cant I just say my son just gave me the daughter i never had..but then that would be weird as my daughter technically cant marry my son... my head hurts..

well anyway, after delays on the ground in Singapore, there had been an incident on one of the runways, the airshow is being held in Singapore and one of the aircraft crashed on the airport runway which led to flight delays. I hope the pilot of that plane is ok

I was supposed to be airborne and on the way to Taipei where I would get my connecting flight to Vancouver by 3.45pm, but because of the delays, we only took off at 6.45pm which is a 3 hour delay....
which meant that I could miss my connecting flight out of Taipei.

so before we landed in Taipei, I spoke to the cabin crew and they put me up front in business class, for just the landing,  no i didnt get to stay in business class all the way, so I could be one of the first to get off the plane and try to run to catch my connecting flight.
I made it to the connecting flight on time, but was worried about my bags..... I did not want to end up with no bags..

In Vancouver, much to my relief, my bags were on the belt for me to take to domestic for my last transfer but there was another flight delay on the last leg of the journey... a 30 min delay to take a 13 min flight from Vancouver to Nanaimo..

all in too many delays, 24 hours of traveling, but finally arriving in Nanaimo.

Son goes in for surgery next week...

Monday, 29 January 2018

i lasted 5 days on tinder

I thought why not give it a go

P thinks I hide away at home and avoid meeting people and I thought yeah maybe I am hiding. But I also realised that I enjoy being at home, alone, watching Netflix. So thats not really hiding is it?
But it does get lonely sometimes and I do wish I could find someone to play house with, but as I dont go out or put myself out there, the chances are very slim.

I realised quickly that there were scammers galore on tinder.  I was really disappointed and maybe I should have given it a bit longer but as everyone keeps telling me that I dont know what I want so how the hell am i supposed to figure it out on Tinder, I deleted my account after 5 days.

Maybe I am one of those that will end up all alone, with cats, and a shotgun... for unwanted guests.

Tuesday, 23 January 2018

the love life

I have been at this blog writing thing for a few years now and each year I check how many posts I do a year.  2017 was the worst, only 21 posts, each year they seem to be getting less and less and I am getting more miserable as time goes by, and not writing enough.
no wonder I am miserable, I am not writing enough!!

I quit my job last year and had one project to do, and was totally with nothing to do from the middle of November.  I went off to Europe to catch up with P and have a good holiday.
To sort my head a bit and think about what I wanted.

I did go see P to see if he and I had any hope of having a relationship, but P didnt want a relationship and I wasnt sure about him.  Its like if someone doesnt show any interest, you automatically revert to being friends, so P and I are just friends, good friends and I seriously enjoy his company.

I had stopped seeing A since June, I hadnt talked to him since then either.  He texted a couple of times but I didnt reply.  I did start talking to him when I got back home after the holiday.  Not to go back to the way it was, I missed talking to him and I wanted to try to be friends.
Things did escalate to the point of him trying to persuade me to go back to where it was but I cant.  He thinks intimacy can be achieved without sharing a life. I cant do that.  He doesnt want the drama of living and being with a woman.  He wants the peaceful balance to remain in his life, being with a woman will upset that.  He isnt wrong in wanting that and I am not wrong in wanting a live in lover/friend/companion/partner.  its a pity we both want different things and as he keeps reminding me, "you cant always get what you want"
So after 8 years of fighting, going back and forth and trying to do things his way, I am done.

I still will talk to him, still text but hopefully we can keep it as just friends and not revert to old habits of flirting etc.

so that leaves me wide open to go find someone..... am I up to it?  Can I be bothered to start from scratch and trawl through online or tinder for a match?

Who knows..

Monday, 22 January 2018

almost done

The contractors have left, my home is back to what it was, well almost

I got rid of all the junk i had accumulated over the years and re arranged some furniture, got new curtains for my room and as I had to move lots of furniture around, the whole place got a marvellous purge of dust and grime. Oh and I finally cleaned my windows after 3 ( or was it 4 ) years.

There are still some bits left to do , like getting a new water heater, as the old one is rusty and leaking now..why does one need a water heater in hot and humid singapore, well because we're pussies and cant shower with cold water..
and had to change one of the old taps that suddenly sprang a leak once the contractors replaced my fittings in the bathrooms, and no they werent about to give me a new tap.

nice accent tiles
welcome to my wet room

The place still has a thin film of fine dust, after they hacked away at the bathroom tiles but I think another good mop of the place should do the trick. 
There are exposed copper pipes in the bathrooms ( HDB does not allow water pipes to be hidden in walls as our walls are concrete and tiled) but I kind of like those pipes and I had them painted white before so could do that some day. and the grouting work sucks..

Bathrooms in singapore especially in the HDB flats are tiny and more like wet rooms, they get wet all over when you shower, unless you spend money to box yourself into a minuscule shower cubicle.

But I got  new tiles and everything for an extremely low price and all in my home feels refreshed, like a new start, just like for me...

Tuesday, 16 January 2018


So today was the day the contractors would be fitting all the toilets and sinks ( the one they saved) and the accessories like towel rails, shower and bathroom cabinets (the one they broke).

But, there is always a but, they had not finished tiling my bathroom, it was impossible for the plumber to start.  I also had an issue with the section they blocked off for the shower area, it was too small to stand in and actually have a shower....
retiling today.. 
It was an exhausting day, i was yelling at them, getting riled up about wall plugs and fittings they had broke ( another thing they broke) and didnt tell me.

The best part was the plumbers supervisor telling me that the plumbing company will dock the workers pay for my broken bathroom cabinet.  I was horrified, and that supervisor knew he had a sucker on hand and he milked it.

 I found out later that docking the workers pay was illegal...
the lengths these contractors go to.. I was not amused!
Am i going to get my money for the cabinet... i dont bloody know!

So its been a nightmare day, for me and for the men working in my place today as I am sure I gave as good as I got.

Tomorrow is the final day and the handover... I hope there will be no more surprises...

Wednesday, 10 January 2018

i want to go home

So the Housing Development Board (HDB) in Singapore is  the government body that builds and sells high rise flats for the populace.  They also run and organise the upgrading of the older estates.
Singapore mainly consists of housing that is made up of high rise condos and these HDB housing estates.  These HDB estates are called heartlands where the middle to lower income citizens live.  These government built flats are by no means cheap to purchase but cheaper than private developments in land scarce Singapore.

I bought my flat after my divorce in 1997, and have lived there for the last 20 years.  HDB first did upgrading to our lifts, we didn't have lifts stopping on every floor, but now do.  The most recent upgrading was to our bathrooms.  Those of us that didn't do any earlier renovations to the bathrooms could opt to participate in the upgrading exercise to have both bathrooms in the flat completely gutted, and refitted.

furniture all wrapped and covered ready for contractors
I changed my toilets and sinks a few years back and was pissed with myself and the HDB because I knew that I had to do this upgrade as my tiles were in need of an urgent upgrade and that would mean losing my relatively new toilets and sinks
With alot of begging and cajoling I managed to get them to promise to save my sink when they were going to demolish the bathroom.  I am glad to report that they managed to do that.....but they damaged my bathroom mirror cabinet (some call it a medicine cabinet), I get to go get a new one which they will pay for... and rightly so!
They also broke my bathroom ceiling light...

all covered up...scene from dexter..

The whole upgrading of my flat will take 9 days and as there are no functioning bathrooms in the flat, I moved to stay with Mum for the duration.  I have had to go each morning to my flat to unlock the doors, then to lock up again in the evening which is excellent exercise time for me... however I wonder about the flat being left open all day... i have no faith in my fellow man and I am hoping some delinquent wont go in and damage or steal anything from the place.  I have locked most of my items that can be carried out easily in the spare rooms but one never knows.....

I am missing my home.  I am missing my space and its only day 3.  Its not just the space I am missing, I am missing being by myself.  I am also stressed that I have errands to run and things to do, and make sure I go open and lock up each day.  The control freak in me wont allow me to relinquish responsibility to someone to help with the locking up.  I am stressed, out of my comfort zone and I just want to go home....

Monday, 11 December 2017

snow.. no not Jon Snow, just snow

I live in Asia, in sunny Singapore that has a hot tropical climate.  Rain, humidity and hot scorching days are our reality and when any Singaporean gets a chance to see snow, we take that opportunity.

But we dont know what to do when we do eventually see it.... well the snow virgins like me dont..

So on the last day of my holiday, P drove me to Limone Piemonte in Italy as I really wanted o see snow.  Its about a 2 hour drive through mountains and little villages, we drove from Monaco, to France, then into Italy and suddenly we were in France again and finally in Italy.  It was surreal.

P's friend had told him about a little restaurant before Limone, it would be a little uphill trek but manageable with a bit of snow on the ground...
Well it turned out that it had snowed more than P had thought and the little bit of a hard walk up hill in a bit of snow ended up as heavy going in knee deep snow at times.  Not forgetting that thinner air makes me lose my breath faster and asthma complicates it..

roasting chestnuts
We were not properly dressed for that much snow.  In trainers and jeans and coats not weatherproof (and a handbag for good measure, although in my defence it was more to carry my camera and bits rather than anything else) we set off to get to the restaurant.  it was supposed to take 20 mins but after 20 mins and still only half way up I gave up and whined and moaned and said I couldnt go anymore.
christmas market

The trek back down was a bit better, but I still moaned and whined about falling over and getting my camera wet and getting all wet etc.  Gold medal for P for letting me moan and whine and still taking me down to Limone for Lunch.  Gold medal to me for not killing P for not remembering that I was a snow virgin and a whiner.


We then drove down to Limone for lunch which put me in a better mood and walked the christmas market.  I will include the name of the restaurant in an update later (after I unpack and find the card) as the food was really good.  Simple restaurant with great food.
It was a picture perfect day, a bit out of my depth but then thats life isnt it..

Standing on firmer snow, clutching my handbag on a trek.......
More pictures on flickr -

Monday, 27 November 2017

OMG i am in Florence...

Its been a dream of mine to visit Florence ever since I did history and learnt all about the Renaissance, which was probably 35 years ago.

I had to pinch myself several times today while walking through streets and museums.
we started of course with David.

It is said that the private bits were scaled down so as not to frighten women... or maybe it was just to make sure women didnt compare their husbands with the actual depictions they saw on statues..

We spent the whole day in museums as it was raining today and the best thing to do was head into the museums... first to see the David then onto the Uffizi Gallery.
There was a big sign telling people to be careful of touts etc but there were people selling tours and we got tickets to the gallery with a tour guide.  Laura, an Italian with a masters in Art History, was excellent in telling the stories behind all the art we looked at.
A Michelangelo painting
the town Lucca, we passed through before we got to Florence

more pictures on flickr

Wednesday, 22 November 2017

day 20 of no facebook.. or having a peaceful holiday

So its day 20 of no facebook and I feel fine
No withdrawal symptoms, no need to find out whos posting what even though facebook is being a dick and still sending me notifications that so and so posted a new picture.. its like its goading me.
Dont you want to see what picture they posted, what comment they  blasted out to the universe..
No Facebook I don't.  I am happy in my own little holiday world.

I was supposed to go out today to see the royal palace and cathedral in Monaco, but somehow as the day progressed I just got lazy.  so I cleaned P's apartment (he's at work being a productive member of society) and had a lovely hot shower and sat down again..

view of France from the apartment
the peace, the quiet, the relaxation is just what the doctor ordered.  I haven't burst into tears since I got here.. oh no shit I did,  but that's not because of me being depressed or suicidal or both which I have been for the last 6 months. The story about the tears will have to wait though..


As I sit in the apartment, looking out at the hills which is France, I am quite at peace with no interruption from real life....

More pics on my flickr account
 Eze -

Monaco - its so compact

and Fort Revere - where P made me walk up hill but did reward me with a picnic..

Sunday, 19 November 2017

holiday time

I am finally on holiday

in Monaco.
well its the start of a 3 week holiday in Europe with P.
As he stays in Monaco, that is my base and location to relax, go out and take pictures and just enjoy being able to do things for just me.

I landed in Nice and P picked me up from the airport, and let me tell you its really good to have someone  greet you at the airport with open arms and a big hug.
I have had too many airport arrivals and departures on my own that its a welcome change to see a familiar, smiling face at arrivals.


Monaco is this compact little high rise state that looms over the harbour.  Its like a miniature Singapore with hills.  and of course people speak french... the food labels are in french, the instructions are in french.... it will be a crash course in french, thankfully P speaks some extremely limited French which should help..

Pictures will follow but for today I am just going to sit here in the apartment and do nothing.  absolutely nothing, which is something I have not done in a very long time.

Thursday, 2 November 2017

social experiment

I wonder if we can disconnect from our mobile phones

Well maybe not totally disconnect but perhaps stop whatsApping and texting and  actually pick up the phone and speak to someone instead of messaging.

what people do..
I am thinking of telling all my friends that I will only respond to phone calls and not texts.... will it work I wonder.  Will my friends all suddenly stop texting me and tell me to go get a hobby and not start stupid experiments?

texting is like multitasking, you can have a text conversation with someone and still carry on doing what ever it is you are supposed to do, I guess thats why people like texting.
But I find that when I text I either piss someone off or I dont understand what they are trying to say.  I also feel very pressured to reply, even when I dont want to.

Then theres Facebook, which has become a bit of a bore lately.. so I deactivated my account today, I am tired of seeing ads and bullshit and have the added pressure of adding friends.....
At least I will stop reaching for my phone and scrolling through facebook the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night.

Lets see how long I can stay disconnected from facebook and if I can get my friends to call instead of texting..

Sunday, 29 October 2017

i cheated...

I have been faithful to my one and only hairdresser.

Until yesterday

I feel like I have betrayed someones trust, cheated on my one love...

It was a long time coming.  My old hairdresser was just convenient, first the shop was in my old neighbourhood, it was familiar, safe, then she moved to  the same building where I lived and it became even more convenient.

I hated going to the hairdressers, maybe because she never listened, never gave me a good haircut, but because Mum still went to her and I couldn't be arsed finding another hairdresser who I was comfortable or knew, I just stayed with her.

Before I left for the sons wedding last year I got one of the worst haircuts from my hairdresser and still I didn't stray, then she just kept giving me that bad, mullet gone wrong haircut.

So I had to do it, i cheated on my hairdresser and found a new one, and I am loving this new haircut.
oh how we fall and cheat just to feel good...

Now all I can do is pray she doesn't see me in the lift as she works and lives 5 floors below me...

Saturday, 28 October 2017

pick myself off the damn floor

So I read all my posts for 2017 and what a miserable read it was.

I seem to be wallowing in self pity with a woe is me attitude.
That is not me, that is someone I dont want to become.

Its been a difficult year but I need to shake myself up and get rid of this doom and gloom feeling.
Yes I am unemployed and will be till I start looking for a job next year.
But I am now working part time just to tide me over till the middle of November, when I leave for my holiday.
That has been my light at the end of the tunnel.  I go to Monaco to visit P and we are driving to Italy ( well P is driving me) to spend about 10 days visiting Florence, Sienna, Venice, Verona and any other little Tuscan town we can.  Tickets have been bought, hotels booked and I cant wait..
I need this holiday, I need to get away and relax and be free.

Then once I am back in Singapore after my Italian escape I have to deal with bathroom renos and then off to Canada in late January for Son no 1's operation.

My life is what I want it to be, so the possibilities are endless, I just need to take the bull by the horns and do it.. and kick myself for letting the bad year bring me down so much.

Sunday, 15 October 2017

Walk with me

always alone
Its taken me a long time to wake up and realise A will not be who I want him to be, a partner in my life.  Someone who will walk with me in my journey.

Between the times I told A to fuck off and leave me alone, I tried to date other men, One of them was P.
When I started going out with P I did see what relationships were supposed to be like, and it did scare me.  P scared me with his intensity and I retreated,  and when he found someone else, I thought I had lost him totally.  But we did meet up again as friends and his friendship has been invaluable.
I believe I carried on with A  because I thought both men were giving me a little of what I wanted.  It doesnt work that way does it. When one half is taken away you realise that the other half is woefully inadequate.

Sex once a month or less, hardly any contact, hardly any conversations, hardly anything.  When son no 2 went into hospital, I really needed someone to be there for me, and A didnt want to be that person,  why should he, he wasnt a boyfriend or partner, all we had was an arrangement,  nothing else.

Well I dont want an arrangement, I want to grow old with someone, I want a companion and partner for my remaining days on this earth.  Someone who makes me a priority, someone who isnt afraid to walk with me.

Sunday, 17 September 2017

healing the broken

There has to be something fundamentally wrong with someone who keeps fucking up their own life.

I took on a new job at the end of 2015, I went back to a company I worked for from 2001 till 2010.  They approached me and asked me to go back and I did, with a pay cut and to work a 4 day week.

The saying that one can never go back is true, I had changed but the company hadn't, and I found that people I trusted didn’t have my back.  The 4 day week wasn’t working and the numerous whats app groups and messages on Sundays were not something I wanted.  It was stressing me out. So I quit.

Yes, I do things on impulse without thinking of another means of employment, because I reach a point of no return, and just do.  Not an ideal situation but I just can't help myself.

I was reaching the stage where I seriously thought that I was going to have a nervous breakdown.  Being told repeatedly that I needed to take on more work to prove to ‘people’ that I was actually doing something and that maybe I might be thought of as redundant.  That ‘people’ kept asking what it was that I did in the office. 
Did no one know what I did, and for me it was, how could they not know…

Take on more duties and responsibilities….
I wasn’t paid to do that, nor was I offered more money or an alternative position.  I already was working on Fridays and coming back to the office when they needed me,  I was made to feel like I contributed nothing to the team, and all this came from a good friend and colleague who thought she was doing me a favour and being honest with me. How could she not speak up for me, or even think that I could be redundant?

I felt betrayed by a trusted colleague and friend. 

So I am without a job at 55 and close to a nervous breakdown.  Not an ideal situation but I am resilient and know that I will be ok, I just need time to heal the broken me.

Sunday, 30 July 2017

Refitting the kitchen.. finally

I have hated my kitchen ever since I moved into my flat.
20 years ago I didnt have the money to refit or redo anything.

20 years of working hard to save money, 20 years of scrubbing the wooden laminate counter tops, 20 years of watching the water leak under the sink, watching the cupboards split and finally this year I thought thats it, bite the bloody bullet and get it done.

goodbye old kitchen
so on Friday the 21st,  2 men came in and pulled my old cabinets apart. 
After they were done, I washed the tiles, washed the floor, waiting for Tuesday when they would be in with the new cabinets and new granite countertop.
half way through demo
tiled till the ceiling, 30 years of grime......
I worked from home all day Tuesday and Wednesday morning, while they fitted the new cupboards. A few days later, the granite countertop came in, and the sink and cooker were fitted. They also had to fit in a couple more doors, as they screwed up on the cupboard above the sink. There are a few bits I am not happy about, bad finishes that the main contractor will sort out with the cabinet makers. Then the gas man came to fit the new cooker.
almost done. I had to wait at least 24 hours before I used the kitchen but have started reorganising the place.  there are a few bits left to touch up but its all starting to come together.  I even cooked my easy grilled chicken legs for Sunday dinner..

granite going in

Doing this kitchen was, as expected, stressful but I also realised that when men see a woman alone, they will try to brush things off and kind of dominate the conversation and intimidate you into seeing it their way.  I am of course made of sterner stuff.  Stand your ground.

There were many moments that resembled a farce or worse still something out of a bad comedy.
From the contractors arguing about the wiring of the oven to them putting the cupboards wrong to telling me that if the pipe leaks it's not their problem....
Thankfully the main contractor was a very sweet man that never made me feel that way, he seemed to be the only one that had my interest at heart.  there were several heated messages from me to him complaining about what the plumber or cabinet maker said, and his messages always ..."cool down".
All Done! a little similar to the old ones 

My asthma had a field day with all the dust and mayhem and I hated sharing my bathroom with son no 2 (his bathroom was past the kitchen and blocked off most of the days) as he doesn't put the lid down when he flushes. The disruption to daily routine, things we take for granted like washing dishes in a proper sink and not in the bathroom sink or even just having things like spoons and dishes in their place.  I do not intend to live in the home when doing any other renovation...
the bathrooms will be re done soon though by the Housing development Board, probably next year and if the kitchen threw up that amount of dust I can only imagine what the dust will be like when they hack away at tiles in the bathroom.... I will move out for sure..

Anyway, I love my new kitchen, absolutely adore it..

view from the other side.

Friday, 7 July 2017

asshole magnet

So I had to take my mums old housekeeper to the airport today.  She lives in the Philippines but comes back for medical checkups as she had a mastectomy a few years ago and Mum pays for her to come back every six months for her medical checks.
There was no one to take her to the airport today and she does need someone to help her get to places as her sense of direction is bad and she is so innocent and anyone could fool her and she will have no anyway.
I  checked her in, sent her off and made sure she passed the immigration lines then took the bus from the airport to work, needed to go to work to do some stuff.

there was this man sitting and waiting for the bus, my senses did go on alert mode with this man but I was more concerned with which bus stop to change busses to get to work. The bus was empty when we boarded, and he choose to sit right behind me, senses got more alert.
 I  felt him pull a bit at my hair, thought maybe my hair was over the back of the seat and pulled it over and made sure nothing over the chair, felt it again.  pulled my hair forward again.
Inside our busses, there is enough space for someone to slip their hand on the side 
Then the dick slips his hand along the side ( i was sitting by the window) and as I had my hand away from my body, he could almost touch my breasts from the back... I felt his hand, looked down to my left and turned around and yelled at him to stop touching me.
he just shook his head and moved away to another seat.
I was not going to let him off that easy.  I went to the driver and told the driver that a man just touched me,
well driver said :   what u want me to do?
I think that shocked me more than what the man did.
Me    -   call the police
Driver - then have to stop and wait for the police

obviously I was going to inconvenience everyone

me - what are u supposed to do
Driver  stares at me blankly

By this time I was fed up, and the man was up in my face telling the bus driver that I leaned into him... really!!!!

Me to bus driver - Stop the bus and get him off
Driver stares at me blankly
Me - stop the damn bus and throw him off the bus!!!

The incident really upset me.  All I got from the other passengers was blank stares, and when the driver had told the man to get off, the other passengers started talking loudly, about me.
How lovely was that.  No one came to help me.  not even when the man was shouting at me and making threatening advances.  Not one bloody person came to help.
No wonder women dont want to report molest.  the people around us dont want to know, dont want to get involved, dont want to offer help or support.  its always the woman at fault.  That man kept saying It was me that was leaning into him and his had was just there... yeah right!

Oh and one of my friends said i should be flattered that I was still attractive to get attention... no this isnt attention.. its just wrong.  Thats not what good men do

I am still upset, I am still wondering why do I always get the assholes after me. Do I have a sign on my forehead that says " bait"
i must just be an asshole magnet