Wednesday 28 September 2011

the first date fizzles

In one of my earlier posts I talked about going on line again in search of "the one".  The first flush of anticipation quickly turned to disgust, disdain and disappointment.  I got offline very quickly!  I went back to the age old tradition of fixer uppers, the well meaning friends that arrange it for you,  the blind dates!
I was told how old he is, what he does, etc etc. The date was arranged and we agreed to meet in a restaurant for dinner in the middle of the week.  As the date was arranged a couple of weeks in advance, the anticipation grew and I did get all excited about dressing up and getting ready to meet a "new" person. 

Then I began to wonder, panic even, was I ready to go out there and meet New people, new Men?  Was I ready to move on?   I thought I had made up my mind and wanted to move on and forget the failed attempt of a relationship.  Would it have been fair to go out and have dinner with someone new, a potential  ( a new date shall be called a potential), when I haven't moved on.
I have had dinners with men friends since I (thought i had) finished with the failed attempt of a relationship,but somehow with MF1(lets call this one MF1 for men friend 1) it was ok to go out and have dinner as MF 1 isn't a potential.

So.......Instead of going out tonight for a good dinner with a potential, I will be home cooking dinner for myself and the son and watching TV.
Safe in my little cocoon away from all the Potentials!

Friday 23 September 2011

early morning encounters

I am uncomfortable when people are too close to me in crowded places, and as I am dependent on our ever efficient but increasingly dubious public transport system, I am in crowded places every morning.  Now,  I take the time to have a good shower every morning to make sure I smell nice and am clean when I go out, I wish other people would do the same.  Its early in the morning, why do some of them look crumpled, like they slept in their clothes, they smell too and  its not just body odour, it is also bad breath and stinking hair.

Then there are those that hog two seats instead of one, yes their knee/handbag/shopping/that tiny little plastic bag/ elbow, all need that one seat for themselves.  Or the able bodied people that pretend to be asleep and totally ignore the elderly and pregnant.  I am not about to preach nor about to tell people what they should or should not do, but at least if you want to pretend to be asleep, make it more realistic!

Women in short skirts, lovely to look at as long as they don't sit down in front of you in a very unbecoming manner.
Whats the etiquette on bags?  handbags, laptop bags, back packs or just bags. I try to keep my bags as close to me as possible, but I notice I am in the minority.  Everyone else seems to want to do as much damage to the other persons anatomy with their various forms of luggage and bags!
Then there are the perverts..... I once saw an old man stroking a young womans hair.  She was sitting in the seat in front of him, and he was enjoying himself stroking her long hair.  I thought "ok this man knows this young woman"  But no he didn't!  He did stop when he noticed me watching him though!

Lets not forget the bus drivers, as most of my crowd cringing moments happen on the bus.
I have discovered four categories of bus drivers so far
1.  the I wanna be a F1 driver
2.  the jerk stop go driver
3.  the snail (especially happens when you are late)
4.  the I have to beat the traffic lights and brake suddenly to see if people can fly driver

I am sure this particular post will be continuously updated as I go about on my daily travels on buses and perhaps even expand to include the trains.  Taxi Drivers....now that's another post altogether!


Thursday 15 September 2011

life story

no this blog isn't just about dating and men,  it is also my avenue to write down my thoughts, my lifes journey and just my daily ramblings.
Pen down the journey that is my life....... with some edits of course!  I always wondered about what to put down in my life story, whether i would be able to tell the truth.  it never is about just one person, its about all the people that are connected to you and some of it is extremely unpleasant, horrid and well downright embarrassing! Maybe the imperfections make for a good story but how many of us can actually write it all down exactly as it happened.  How many of us are brave enough to face the wrath of our "loved" ones when we spill the beans on our imperfect lives.
Will I be brave enough...............

Tuesday 13 September 2011

how horrible can a first date be

I am sure there are many out there that have had worse experiences but.......
As I am back on the market (how I hate that phrase) I am determined to write about all my first dates and all my one date wonders.  I joined the online dating websites a few weeks ago and as usual I get a lot of interest from younger men, men in far away places ( like the US and Canada) and men who really don't appeal to me.  Filtering has to happen of course, learning to spot the scammers, the con artists and the married men of course.  There is a standard email from these "scammers"   its always a man who has been widowed and has a daughter, and they begin their first contact with " how beautiful you are and like an angel and all that crap.  yes its crap
Majority of women do see through the bull dust, but there are those that get caught in the trap and get cheated.  So I filter the messages on the websites,I decipher the messages and then I chat with some of the men.  How long is an appropriate time to wait before we arrange a first date?  I have no idea.  If alarm bells aren't ringing in my head, I usually meet with them pretty quickly and then the first date happens!!
Where to go on a first date?  Drinks or dinner? Drinks in a popular bar is preferred, in a central location where one can get a taxi at the end of the night is the best bet.  Why?  So that you can escape as soon as possible if that date turned out to be boring, horrible or just scary!
You meet at the bar, you realise he doesn't look at all like his picture, and when you ask him he admits that the picture was taken 5 years ago.  and of course you are thinking wow , in 5 years hes aged 15!  The conversation is slow, you try to prompt a conversation with open ended questions that do not require monosyllable answers, but somehow he still manages to stick to one word replies!  Or you meet at the bar, and he looks better in person and his eyes light up when he sees you.  conversation flows fast and freely and he says at the end of the night that he will call.......... does he call, no!
Or
you meet at the bar, he looks better in person and you have this wonderful time, and end up snogging him in some park in the middle of the city!
But
Its all about the first date bravado..... all that posturing and pretense that goes into the ritual of dating.  Watch animal planet and you will see how the males posture and preen infront of the females of the species and my god it feels the same in real life human interaction!    So I have had my fair share of horror stories of first dates.  Like the man who wouldnt order me a second drink during dinner, the waiter had to ask me if I wanted another drink, or the one that thought I would go back to his hotel room to get some chocolates he bought me, or the one that stuck his tongue down my throat when saying goodbye at the train station.
These were the dates that the minute I met them I already knew it wasnt going to go anywhere. To be polite I sat through the whole date.  next time I won't..... but... will there be a next time?  I fear I may give up this whole charade and actually ask Mum to fix me up with that divorced son of that friend of hers! 
 I am going on another first date at the end of September, I didnt meet him online, I was introduced to him by a mutual friend.  Will it be better?  Have to wait and see I guess.