Saturday 30 August 2014

me me me me me me....and me..and only me... well mostly

I took Friday off and had my me day.

It started off pretty much like any other day, getting up bright and early, but this time I was waiting for the contractor to come around to give me a quote for painting my flat.  I could do it myself, but that would mean me taking leave ( or unpaid leave) and getting totally exhausted painting everything...so no...I am getting in a contractor to do it.  I also need to upgrade my bathrooms a bit, so some money will be spent there sprucing up the old bathrooms..

spot the bee....
By mid morning, after checking the weather, I was ready to head out to spend my day wandering around taking pictures.  I got some really good shots and I totally bombed at some of the close up ones, I should have checked my pictures after taking them but I was so excited at getting the close ups of the grasshopper
bird in a tree

that I just forgot to check my shots....unfortunately the grasshopper ones were so overexposed that my limited knowledge couldn't save them.  I got close enough to a monitor lizard but again those shots were not good enough....too blurry....I was a little afraid too so camera must have shook every time it moved!
I did however get nice flower shots and bees and butterflies..... really

enjoyed chasing the butterflies......

I don't want to crowd this post with pictures but if you do want to check out my pictures, go to my flicker page - and you would be able to see the bees and butterflies I was chasing at MacRitchie Reservoir  - https://www.flickr.com/photos/102809648@N06/

Wednesday 20 August 2014

time for another me day

I have been hurtling along at breakneck speed that I am sure I have whiplash.

Work has been challenging, and back somewhere in the murky past I did say  I wanted a job that challenged my mind....be careful what you wish for people......
Anyway
Doesn't she look calm and capable...
I am totally zombified by the end of the day and don't have the energy to cook a  proper meal, and  I end up compromising on eating healthy which is why I haven't weighed myself in a week....
Saturdays I am running errands and trying to cook a few things to freeze but I find myself exhausted by 2 in the afternoon and end up sitting on the sofa catching up on all the programs I recorded during the week.  I did think that I was finding excuses just to sit on the sofa and watch the telly but I am so tired that I am in bed and fast asleep by 10pm on a Saturday.

I wont bore you with the details of Sundays but lets just say that I somehow end up doing what I am obliged to do.


I am constantly tired and weighed down by what I have to do....so its time I took a me day before I explode.

This coming Saturday I am seeing the Boob man, my yearly mammogram and check as I do have issues with the lumps in my breasts and  I have to be in town for that. Which means I will probably end up hitting the malls for retail therapy after I get my boobs manhandled.

But what I really want to do is take a day off and play with my camera.  maybe next week..................

Sunday 10 August 2014

When your kids are more adult than you are.....

I don't know if  it's menopause but I am going to lay all the blame for my recent erratic behavior down at the feet of this change.

I chat with son no 1 more or less every Saturday and these last few weeks he has  been listening to me rant about work, and how I quit and why I quit...

He politely, subtly told me that I wasn't put on this earth to save anyone, let alone this company and that while I didn't necessarily have a big ego, I sometimes can be irrational.    (his almost exact words were "its not your responsibility to save the company or anyone")

It made me think, as I do want to save the world and I get frustrated when people don't get with the program..... it made me call my boss and apologise for my resignation and while I know they want me back I need to be a little more humble, focused and less erratic and flaky.  I must try to stop rushing into making hasty decisions...

It's a strange day when your children are more adult than you are.....

Wednesday 6 August 2014

not adult enough to make decisions.....or... i shouldnt be allowed out unsupervised...

I am quiet and not one of those people that likes to be the center of attention.  I am happy to hide in the back and be part of the wallpaper.  However if you piss me off or I think that I am being unfairly treated, well, then I  tend to get out my soapbox, climb up on that and become quite unbearable.

Or I do something rash, like my recent 'conversation' with the customer service of the papers.   I cancelled my subscription to the papers just because they pissed about with getting me my log in details for an online subscription.  My temper does get the better of me and I am always trying to extricate myself out of stupid situations I put myself into........

My ego is about the size of the island I live on which makes life quite stressful.  My recent foray into extricating foot out of mouth or someones rear end is another example of my ego and temper taking over my normal complacent mild mannered self ( I can hear my friends snickering at that description).

I quit my job..... and now have no idea if I want to keep this job or go find something else....

I know there is no ideal job where I go to work and everything goes swimmingly well and I breeze through the day without encountering assholes, dickheads and generally higher management that likes to think that when they say jump we say how high.  I know I am paid to do someones dirty work.  I know I am paid to just be that rubber stamp that doesn't need to think and just shut up and do it.....
But
I hate doing that.  Why hire someone like me and say, come and make changes and help us, then turn around and tell me, but that's how its always been, and we really just have to follow the old way.

So after a week of being pushed around and told to just shut up and do what I am told, I handed in my resignation.  that was a couple of weeks ago and now that I have calmed down I wonder if I should just shut up and do the job and feel miserable and angry because I know things can be so much better if only they did think and listen.... or do I at 51,  start looking for another job....or perhaps finally go do something of my own......

Decisions........