Thursday 28 May 2015

what a difference a herb makes....


I loathe taking any types of medication.

When I was little and there was no inhalers for my asthma, I had to take a few pills every day and most of the time I used to hide it under the cushions in the kitchen.  I didnt get better of course, but at least they werent sticking in my throat....

As I get older and the body starts to fall apart, I have realised that some pills I dont have a choice but to take, and some I actually have chosen to take ( like the natural estrogen supplements)

I  have to take my thyroid meds first thing in the morning,and thats one small little pill, then after breakfast I take one vitamin D pill and 2 pills that are a herbal estrogen supplement to help me stay calm, cool and collected, to make sure I dont become the  crazy snarling bitch that sweats intermittently.

7 dwarfs all in one 
When the manufacturers of the herbal estrogen supplement changed some of the ingredients, I found that the mood swings and hot flashes were becoming detrimental to my health and everyone else within arms length of me....
I was crying for no apparent reason, I couldnt sleep as the hot flashes kept me awake at night and well....I was just one miserable cow.

So I ordered some additional  herbal supplements (Black Kohosh) that were lacking in the pills I already had, to help with the mood swings and the hot flashes.
Its been three days and my general mood has taken a whole new dimension......I am a different person, I feel more alert and positive and happy.  The hot flashes are getting better as well.

Is it possible for the supplements to take effect so quickly?  The way I am feeling...I think yes it can.
Possible side effects?
There are side effects though, but as I am only going to be taking the black kohosh supplement for a month I guess the risks would be minimal....right?  After a month I am changing to a different natural estrogen supplement that would include all the herbs I need.

Even with side effects ( like a slight woozy headache in the morning) and the fact that I now have to pop a total of 5 pills, I am thrilled that the black kohosh has made a difference to my general well being.

Men have it so much easier, no periods, no giving birth, no hormone imbalance,  no menopause..... bastards...

Tuesday 26 May 2015

relatively fit indeed.....

So on Sunday morning I was up early and out of the house before 7am to meet with P to start my 'training"

P had planned a walk starting from the National Stadium (which is now our Sports Hub and a brilliant place to meet and exercise..) down by the Kallang River, up to the Marina Barrage area and past Gardens by the Bay and Marina Bay sands, and back again.  Its a scenic, flat area to walk and its about 11 kms if you do the full circle, which we did.

When P said it would take us about 2 to 2.5 hours to do the round,  I didnt think I would be able to do it.  I surprised myself though, and because P set a slow pace that I could manage, it turned out to be a very pleasant Sunday morning walk.  We kept a decent pace and finished the 11 kms in 2 hours and a bit.  We stopped at one point for a short breather (purely for me as P runs marathons for goodness sake and he definitely was not showing any signs of being tired..) , and for me to adjust my shoes.  The promise of a hot coffee and breakfast at the end of the line also made up for any tiredness I was feeling.

I am quite proud of myself for completing it and there is no way I would have done it without having P there with me.   So P has been promoted to Personal trainer and this coming weekend we are going to try something a little more challenging....

Now that I am getting into the swing of this walking thing, I may need to go buy some new exercise gear......





Friday 22 May 2015

save my soul wanderlust

Every so often I get itchy feet.

Or rather my soul feels restless and I have this urge to leave everything and everyone behind.

Its been awhile since I had a holiday and by holiday I mean a few weeks of traveling and being on my own to explore.  Yes,  that costs money, and a good boss who will let me take off for 3 weeks. Money wise, I usually set aside a few thousand every year for house improvements, and I figure this year  that money can go into my "save my soul" budget. The boss... well fingers crossed my leave gets approved...

I have booked a short beach getaway in June with a couple of the girls and that will help to restore some balance..... but its not enough.  

San Gimignano
I have wanted to do Tuscany for  some time now and I found a few companies that offer walking tours through the Tuscan towns and hills.  It will allow me the opportunity to wander and take pictures, visit old monasteries, walk medieval streets and if I plan it right, be in Tuscany for the MotoGP in September.

Its a 7 day walking tour through towns like Sienna, San Gimignano, and I can end up in Florence where I intend to spend a few days gawking at renaissance art.

I am relatively fit (apart from the asthma) but walking a few miles each day is something that will require some preparation.
So this Sunday morning I will start my 'training' with P ( sweet man that he is, has volunteered to help me with my training) and we begin with a 5 to 6 mile walk on a flat surface....

I may have to do this on my own but if anyone out there wants to join me for a soul cleansing walk through history.... leave a comment.


Wednesday 20 May 2015

red dawn

its been hot

and I have been taking pictures of the rising sun this past week as when its a red dawn you know  its going to be a hot day...
This morning....6.30am

Monday
Tuesday


Monday 18 May 2015

Menopause mayhem

So the usual supplements I take to lessen the mayhem that comes with menopause, were no longer available from my suppliers
The manufacturers changed the contents of the supplements and left out a few key herbs that helped with mood swings, depression and hot sweats.....

So for the last few weeks I have been on a roller coaster ride with mood swings and tears.
And unfortunately it's been while I have been at work.
My twin in Perth told me off, "stop being so negative and try no to let your emotions get the better of u at work."

It's been tough.  I was left without one member of our small admin team and I assumed I was supposed to take over everything....I take on too much as it is and I started feeling fatalistic and took on the persona of the usual victim who's mantra is always"why me".....
I have been trying to let some positive shine through but the easy option of wrapping up myself in a cocoon of woe was too easy.

So I ordered some new supplements (they don't come till the end of the month) and am trying to maintain a clean eating regime which does help a bit...
Will I be able to focus and be positive at work?   I don't know,  but I am going to try and snap out of the misery and woe and see how I can turn this into a good thing...

Until the new supplements arrive and while I am still struggling with being overwhelmed at work, I shall lay blame for the mayhem at the feet of that old devil..menopause.


Sunday 17 May 2015

Find someone to sit with you.....

My mother calls me almost everyday, just for a quick chat.

Recently Dads death anniversary had come around and she was feeling reflective and depressed and lonely.She missed Dad, even though he sometimes was a shit head, he was her shithead and they would have been doing things together.  "Find someone" she told me.

That night I watched re runs of Wallander, and in that particular episode,  the main character's father tells him "Find someone to sit with you"

Its getting harder to delude myself into thinking that I can just be alone, I know that  I want  a companion, friend and lover, I don't  want a person forever constantly at my heels but someone who has his own life and we occasionally spend holidays or do things together... Someone willing to let me into his life and actually want to give me some of his time and someone who would let me be independent and have my own time.

So those words were a kind of wake up call.....because I want someone to be with me, I want to find someone I can have that slightly strange relationship with ..............someone who wants to sit with me.........




Monday 11 May 2015

a fuck off bitch face

I lack the necessary skills to communicate with my fellow colleagues.......or perhaps its just that my feelings towards some of my colleagues show clearly on my face.

I sit in the management meetings ( yes i somehow am part of the small management team) and I have to give updates on the usual office things and  some of the items on my list are stupid nonsense that needs saying like "wear your access pass cos we dont have a receptionist anymore to let you into the office."

So I tend to be serious in these meetings and I was just told by the boss that I should be careful in case people got the wrong impression.......
So while I think half of the people on the management team dont walk the talk they preach, I have to try to be civil to them during meetings.....

I am not here to make friends, its just work....and when I am serious and am concentrating on a task I tend to just get down to business and I do forget to smile and make small talk....but then if its people I dont like,  I really dont want to make small talk or give my updates and requests with a smile....

Besides, I dont realise I am being "grumpy" and serious, I just think lets get on with the meeting and move on to the next thing.....

But obviously I do rub people the wrong way and it does have a lot to do with my rather bored, fuck off and leave me alone bitch face.....

and I wonder why no one wants to ask me out.....